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Car Theft Investigation Leads To Attempted MLM Recruitment

October 21, a man stole a 1999 Silver Honda accord from a local dinner while the owner was eating. The owner was alerted to the crime when his car alarm went off, but was too late to stop the thief from stealing his vehicle.


The owner of the dinner, who did not want to be named, described the man as tall, thin, with black hair and wearing a coat. His face is thin, and he is believed to be white.


After more research, it was found this man fits the description of a purse-snatcher from three weeks ago. He reportedly stole a woman’s black purse which contained her wallet, keys, driver’s license, and 23 tubes of Mary Kay lipstick. Said woman, “I was just trying to tell my friends about this amazing business opportunity, when this guy just comes out of nowhere and steals my whole supply of the crushed berry color! And he didn’t even let me tell him about how amazing the company is so he could think of joining!” She continued to talk about Mary Kay, but we will not report what she said due to it being both irrelevant and an attempt to get us to join an MLM. If anyone has any information on this man, please inform the police. And please don’t join pyramid schemes.


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